


Sirius' Last Birthday Gift

by DemonBanisher



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonBanisher/pseuds/DemonBanisher
Summary: Three days after Peter, James, and Lily's deaths and Sirius' betrayal, Remus sits at home alone remembering that today is Sirius' birthday. Little did he know that Sirius had his own present picked out.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	Sirius' Last Birthday Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all read the tags, consider yourself warned. This is sad. I'm so sorry, I don't normally write angst. I have no idea why my brain went "Ah yes, Sirius Black's birthday let's write a gut-wrenching one shot." But I did and I posted it on tumblr so I figured I'd share here too.

James and Lily were gone. Dumbledore had taken Harry. Peter was dead. Sirius was the traitor. And it was November third. Sirius’ birthday. 

Remus sat in the empty flat that reminded him of everything that had once shared. Everything they hoped that they could be together. The last few months it had become full of tension and curt arguments. They laid beside each with an ocean between them. Remus would give up his soul to have that constant tension back. Anything was better than this, this never ending emptiness that seemed to swallow his soul whole.

What would they have done for his birthday if Sirius was here? Remus felt an overwhelming guilt that he didn’t have anything planned. But with the way things had been lately... that and he wasn’t supposed to back from his mission this early. Of course, that was before Halloween. Before Remus’ world had ended. 

Remus walked silently through the apartment, running his hands over Sirius’ things. The vinyl records that Sirius had picked out. His leather jacket thrown haphazardly over a chair, like he was coming back to put it away later. Remus didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it now. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do with any of it, let alone the gaping hole in his heart. 

He decided he wanted this day to be over as soon as possible. He wanted any day that reminded him of Sirius to be over as soon as possible. He padded quietly down the hall into their bedroom, not feeling tired but hoping that if he fell asleep he’d wake up to realize that this was all one big nightmare. 

As he went to move around to his side of the bed, his wool sock caught on something sticking out from underneath it. A wooden box that someone had hidden there. Remus sat down on the bed and tugged it out. Bracing himself for whatever horrors of Sirius’ treachery lay inside. All the signs that Remus should have seen. All the signs he tried to ignore. 

He opened it and inside there was a small black box and a letter. Remus opened the letter and recognized the scrawl.

Dearest Moony,

I know things have been difficult lately. I know I’ve been mess and everything is sideways and backwards. I know some days you feel like you hardly know me anymore. But in a world where the future is uncertain, here’s what I do know. 

You are my everything. You make every day worth living. You are my tomorrow, my next year, my life. I love you Remus Lupin with everything I have. 

I know we haven’t been ourselves lately and this is awful timing. But I guess I’ve just been thinking I’d like to get to know you all over again. To remember who we were before it all went sideways. Before fear seeped in. 

I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you again. Remembering the good. Remembering what we fell in love for. 

I know you didn’t get me anything for my birthday. So, I took it on myself to get my own gift. This year, I want you to be mine for the rest of my life. I want to know I’ll have you by my side forever, no matter how bad it gets. Through every full moon, through every doubt, through every war, or illness, or bad day. I want to be there. I know we aren’t great but I know we once were. I know we can be again. We’ll have the whole rest of our lives to get back there.

So, this year all I want for my birthday is to know: will you, Remus John Lupin, marry me?

With trembling fingers, Remus opened the black box to see a small golden ring inscribed with runes. Sitting alone in the apartment that once was Remus’ whole world, he broke down sobbing. Knowing that just a few days ago, it wouldn’t have mattered what was going on in the world. Remus would have said yes in a heartbeat. Now, he was left with a broken heart and a million questions. How badly he wished they could have spent every birthday together.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.... um... if you want to come find me on tumblr I'm here https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sleepcreatecaffeinate or as @sleepcreatecaffeinate on Instagram. Feel free to shoot me an ask of some fluff to make up for this mess.


End file.
